It’s a new year!
One of my resolutions is to gather a list of concepts that, have not only gotten me through my rough spots, but allowed me to simultaneously forgive, heal and increase my capacity to give and receive love. Sharing them with you over the course of this year will also reinforce them in me. Win-win! When I can understand how life is on my side I can lay down my boxing gloves, receive the value, be grateful and feel peace in my heart.
If we want this year to be different, we’ve got to be different. Many of us start the year off with resolutions, which can be great, but at the end of the day what most people want is to feel peace in their hearts. When we tell ourselves that X, Y, or Z need to happen for us to have peace in our hearts we get in a power struggle with X, Y or Z. We put too much weight on losing the weight, getting the relationship, making more money, getting healthy. Your weight, relationship status, bank balance, etc. weren’t meant to carry the weight of peace.
Rather than solely focusing on getting rid of what you don’t want: the weight, the debt, the health issue, or getting past this, that or the other thing, what if we also focused on what we do want that's on the other side of it? How we want to feel that is different than what we're feeling now.
The ego will send you on a wild goose chase. What if, when you found peace in your heart, you didn’t need the extra weight, debt or health issue anymore and it just went away? I can’t promise that what you don’t want will go away. But I can say that I’ve experienced it and know others who have too. Also, when you don’t need something anymore it’s a lot more likely.
If you are a client some of the concepts I’ll be sharing this year will be great reminders. If you’re on a love-based path or have read my book or blog you are likely familiar and my words may add dimension to what you’ve been learning. If you are new to heart-based thinking you may find some of what I have to say jarring or find yourself defensive. If so sit with the words. Be open. We all have a Voice for Fear and a Voice for Love in our heads. Your Voice for Fear may want to twist my words. It is sly and talks a good talk. I wrestle with it sometimes too. I don’t want you to accept what I say just because I said it either. As a friend of mine says, some concepts I share may leave you feeling like you have stretch marks on your brain. Stretching is good.
I chose a beaver for my header photo because in Native American tradition Beaver teaches us to be persistent and to use available resources. (In case you didn't know, the photos I choose for my blogs are photos I have taken and pictures that I feel add dimension to my words.) My Voice for Love, which I refer to as my higher self, is a readily available resource. We’ve all got one; most of us have just forgotten that it’s an option.
You can tell when it’s your Voice for Love that you are listening to because it always wants what’s best for you, loves you unconditionally, and guides you in ways that are for the highest and best for all concerned with harm to none. It thinks win-win.
Your Voice for Fear, which is often referred to as the ego, thinks win-lose. It will suggest that someone suffer so someone else’s needs can be met. It wants you to think you are a victim rather than see how life can actually be happening for your benefit. It never wants you to be happy and it never wants you to experience love.
Your ego’s superpower is control where your higher self’s superpower is Love. Your ego has clever ideas, as in manipulative. Your higher self has brilliant ideas, as in filled with light. In any given moment you seek guidance or interpretation from either one way of thinking or the other so even if you read no further, this awareness is a huge takeaway.
Everybody wrestles. Everybody has a higher self at the ready. My hope is that you will be persistent, like Beaver, in seeking yours this year.
So if we all have a Voice for Fear and a Voice for Love then in any given moment we are consulting either one or the other. Your Voice for Love will not interfere in your life unless you ask because you have free will, which your higher self honors and respects.
Then how do we consult with our Voice for Love/higher self, you might be wondering?
- Throw any issue up to the 'heavens' in search of understanding. You might think you know what the situation is about, but maybe you don't. Be open to your higher self's interpretation.
- Asking for a win-win solution opens you to ideas you may not otherwise have access to. Ideas from your higher self.
- “Let me sleep on it,” is another phrase that opens you to divine, love-based ideas as does a desire for everyone’s needs to be met with harm to none. Being open lets the light in.
- When you have a desire put it out there but follow it up with some version of “this or better with harm to none.” This keeps you open to the ideas of Universal Intelligence.
- Controlling, preventing and muscling through summon your Voice for Fear. It’s everyone’s default. Your higher self is always there, but you have to ask, you have to breathe and you have to be open to receive.
When something makes sense it leaves you feeling peaceful. When it feels like it has control over you, not so much. Knowing that everyone's best interests are at heart, including yours, leaves you feeling peaceful too. When you change something on the inside the outside has to somehow shift to reflect the change.
I'm going to leave you with an example:
Say cleaning out your clutter is one of your resolutions. Your ego might think that shaming you into getting rid of stuff is the solution, or hiring an organizer. These are ways to control the clutter. Rather than think you know, try asking your higher self, "What is this clutter trying to show me?" You may be shown that clutter on the outside is a reflection of clutter on the inside. Have you been accumulating your feelings rather than using them to heal? Learning to use your feelings to flush out old wounds rather than adding them to the pile will leave you feeling peace in your heart and grateful for the outward clutter as a messenger for peace. After extracting the value it's easier to let the clutter go because you don't need it anymore. You got the message and you're changing. And you can still hire an organizer. It just won't be out of despair. Using your feelings to heal rather than accumulating them is an example of "being different." It will increase your capacity to love others and make room for more love. Remember, if you want this year to be different you've got to be different.
Stay tuned for more concepts to chew on in the weeks to come. Connecting with your higher self does take practice. If you want some help you know where to find me. I can't help but wonder how different 2024 could be if more folks chose Love over control.
Happy New Year!
Have fun practicing connecting and/or taking it up a notch!
Friends in this Love,
Here's a link to more information about our higher selves and a meditation (written during the pandemic). Reach Higher