What story do you live by? Growth or Coercion

What story do you live by? Growth or Coercion

“Only when you recall that you are an immortal spiritual being living in an impermanent body, 
and that you are here on the planet to experiment and learn to create responsibly, 
does anything make sense.” ~Sonia Choquette

Beautifully stated! We tell ourselves unproductive stories and act based on those stories. When we remember that we came here to grow we become partners in support of each other's growth rather than opponents doing battle in an attempt to coerce each other into fulfilling our needs so that we won't have to grow. When you feel like a victim of someone's overt coercion look to how you may be doing your own passive version of it as well.

The things that irritate us most in others are most often the things we don't like about ourselves. They just aren't always obvious.

Case in point: A client came in complaining of how her husband was unrealistically controlling of the finances. What came out in the session was how she passively controls him back by leaving her purchases in the trunk of her car and then bringing them in gradually so that he is less likely to notice. He was coercing her with his attempt to control her spending but she was trying to coerce him into changing so she could spend.

How can they partner in growth?

It started by admitting that they are in fear when they find themselves wanting to control. When there is more fear than a situation should warrant it likely has roots in other places. Those needed attention too. That's where a counselor comes in handy. They came in arguing about money but their issue wasn't about money. It was about their inability to work with their fears. This they could learn to do together. Just talking about the prospect relieved some tension and brought them closer. They were in a rich place; rich with opportunity for learning, healing and growth. They just couldn't see it because they were in the 'coercion' story.

What story will you choose to live by this week? Growth or coercion?

I challenge you to experiment with partnering in growth.

I'm here if you need some direction.

Friends in this Love,

Dr. T


  1. Joyce De Fazio says:

    The photos and your wonderful photography always transcend me to a peaceful/loving state of mind. Thank you. I also enjoy and learn from the various topics.

    Love and Light,


    1. Trish Whynot

      Awe, Joyce, that's wonderful to hear. Thank you for taking the time to comment.


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