What Most People Really Want

“What most people want,

At the end of the day,

Is to feel peace in their hearts.”

When you feel peace in your heart you are relaxed.

The day after Christmas I found myself shoveling off a skating rink. I had no definitive plans beyond that. No guarantees of grandchildren visiting. Not even a guarantee that the ice would be skateable. It just seemed like a good idea so I went with it.

I hadn’t skated since Doug passed. We loved to skate on the lake together when the conditions were favorable. If you have spent time on a lake, you know there can be years between favorable conditions. All I knew, at this point, was that a reputable source had reported it safe.

The day after Christmas was a very peaceful day. My plans were to have no plans. There was no wind. Temps were in the mid 20’s. Not a cloud in the sky. A couple inches of light, fluffy snow blanketed the lake. I dragged a bench down to the ice’s edge. Did a bit of shoveling with my boots on. Then decided to finish the job wearing skates—like we used to do. 

I brought Doug’s skates down with me. A little of his DNA, I was thinking. I even asked for his help—if it was possible—from the other side. Maybe we could still be a good team, just in a different way? Couldn’t hurt to ask.

I did feel that the job went more quickly after asking. Some things we’ll never know for sure. It was definitely cathartic. When it was done, and the sun was about to set, I sat on the bench, looking out at the fruit of my meditation, with a feeling of peace and gratitude in my heart.

There was little agenda and no weight to my skating rink. I was not afraid of impressing or disappointing anyone. My survival didn't depend on it. I did hope for a smooth enough area for skating. I received so much more. When deciding on resolutions for the new year there's usually an agenda—sometimes visible, sometimes hidden. What are you truly looking for? 

How would you hope to feel if you: Lost the weight? Got a new job? Bought a home? A new car? Quit smoking? Ventured into a relationship? Ventured out of a relationship? Committed to an exercise program? Forgave someone you’ve been holding a grudge toward? Started a business? Got out of debt?

At the end of the day, a peace in your heart that you aren't currently feeling, is what you are likely to be seeking. So what might my agenda have been—my at the end of the day? In hindsight, I'd have to say my heart wanted to feel peace by expressing and receiving some love. The activity nudged what was needed to the surface.

Even when you remove someone who is an annoyance from your life, what are you thinking? Finally, I will have peace in my heart? Another person might acknowledge how they are triggered by someone and also vow to heal the wound that is being stirred, emerge grateful for the soul cleanse and with something they can thrive on—hence feeling more hopeful, peaceful, and openhearted versus guarded. 

How we travel from point A to our attempt at peace is where we often differ. Which is the peace that sticks? If you believe once all the proverbial fires are put out, that you can relax, you may be inadvertently telling the Universe that you love to put out fires. If that is the case, all It can do is bring you more fires. 

You might have to try getting rid of a few people before you realize you are the common denominator. Life is an experiment. Sometimes we must give ourselves an “A” for effort. We’ve done the research, we’ve got the data, it didn't work. We can acknowledge that what we’ve been doing did not garner the feeling for which we had hoped. If that is the case, wouldn't doing it again be the definition of insanity? If we want a different outcome, we've got to do something different.

A Christian friend once told me that peace is a promise from God. What a lovely thought. My suggestion for you is to add a desire for peace in your heart to your goals for 2025. It can't hurt and it might take the pressure off your other desires. For example, if you are placing peace in your heart on losing weight, that's a lot of weight. Anything you place too much weight on you get in a power struggle with. Take the weight off to take the weight off. When you are tempted to try to create peace on the outside, also go inward to find out where you may have lost some of your peace so you can retrieve it. We were born with peace in our hearts. Sometimes pieces of it get lost in our shadow bags. Lost from our sight but not ever truly lost.

I have retrieved quite a bit of myself since Doug passed, sometimes with his help. His passing wasn’t bad, it certainly wasn’t what we had pictured and a huge adjustment, but it wasn’t bad. That is because I believe death to be the ultimate transformation and that Life is eternal. When losing a loved one, we are offered a life review, too. When I feel bad it’s revealing something I am missing. When I can see what I am missing as something I was grateful for, I can tell him. Even the annoying things. Boy do I wish I could be annoyed one more time. That happens too.

Today I was missing Doug because I loved skating with him, so I told him how much I enjoyed our time on the ice together. My gratitude for the skates he thoughtfully purchased for me went up a level as well. That sharing of love brought peace to my heart. Someone else, who lost their beloved (literally or figuratively), may have chosen to be away for the holidays in their effort to feel peace in their heart. 

The peace that sticks is like an ember that glows and grows, warming the hearts of those in its path. If what you're doing leaves you bitter, resentful, or defending yourself, it's not peace. It’s never too late for healing, and it’s never too late for love. Everyone gets “A's” for effort. And no matter what others are doing, we can wish them peace rather than judge. It will make us feel better too.

I hope my writing holds a something different you've been needing—something that will take some weight off your 2025 resolutions so what your heart is truly seeking can find its way to you with grace. It may take a little shoveling. Ask me, I know. 

Wishing you peace in your heart for 2025. Let me know if I can help.

Happy New Year!

Trish

If you have a loved one in Spirit you might find this interview with Bob Olson of Afterlife TV helpful: How Ordinary People Can Talk With Spirits Without A Medium

Warning: a lake can be safe to walk on one day and unsafe the next so do your due diligence before venturing out.

And the photos of the picture-perfect rinks. If you are wondering, Doug engineered those.