I have been wanting to write this post for quite some time. It is a tribute to a dear friend. Today is the anniversary of her passing. A perfect day for reflecting and my journaling proved to be even richer than expected. Reflecting provides me with an opportunity to take with me wisdom I can thrive on.
Grace and I met several years ago. She and her husband would take regular strolls down our road. I have Quan Yin and Buddha statues in my garden. I caught Grace admiring them from a distance one day. When she saw me she apologized. She said she prays to Buddha when she sees my statue. I was delighted to hear this, assured her that it was not an intrusion, and let her know that they were welcome to come and pray anytime. From that day forward, our friendship was set in motion.
After Doug passed I began joining Grace and Sean for a portion of their walks with my dogs. Their faces
became a light in my day.
Grace was later diagnosed with cancer. They continued with their walks, be it with intermittent breaks, until her last few months. The afternoon before her passing, her husband reached out to let me know she was in the hospital and in her final hours. She was surrounded by loved ones. I asked if it would be alright for me to join them and he assured me that I was welcome.
After thinking about it, I changed my mind. I am not good at hospitals and Doug's not here to go with me. I have fainted more than once when visiting someone. Following the second fainting spell, the nurses kindly told me, and my friends, to not allow me to come back alone. My friend, who I know would have gone with me, was out of town. I didn’t want to take away from those surrounding Grace, and I wasn’t quite sure of my place in it all, so I decided it best to stay back.
Did I beat myself up for not being there? A little. I was afraid and didn’t want the focus to end up being on fainting Trish. Once is enough and it has happened twice. I didn’t need a 3rd episode to be clear. This time was about honoring Grace. Following my decision to stay back, I leaned on my higher self for my next directive. Grace enjoyed kayaking. I felt guided to go for a sunset kayak, in her honor. She also loved my dogs so I brought the one who enjoys kayaking with me. She enjoyed my photography so I took a photo to send her. It could be her last sunset so I thought it might somehow be memorable.
Following my return from kayaking, I remembered someone telling me that hearing is the last of the senses to go. I found myself wishing I could speak to Grace one last time. I wanted to let her know, with my voice, that I love her. My next directive was to write her a little goodbye letter and record myself reading it. And so I did. I wasn’t sure how Sean would feel about that so I sent it along with a sunset photo and a mushroom photo for him to share, all at his discretion.
He ended up playing my message 2 or 3 times for Grace and let me know that it brought a smile to her face.
A mutual friend that was at the hospital later shared how it was helpful for everyone present to hear my words. She said that it was even better than if I had come in person because the recording was able to be played multiple times. For me, I wanted to be sure Grace knew how much I had enjoyed her—how I would race to leash up the pups when I’d see them coming. I also added a little humor regarding how Theo would determine how far we’d get. I expressed my gratitude for how she and her husband had gently been there for me after Doug’s passing, how I would do my best to pay that forward, and how I would remember her every time I saw a mushroom. I asked her to say “hello” to Doug for me also. Grace passed the following morning.
As I reflect here, I’m grateful for those who could be by Grace and Sean's side while comforted to know that I was able to play a small, positive role in her sendoff.
Following my reflecting I took my pups for a walk. I ran into my cousin and invited her to join us. She mentioned a mushroom she’d never seen before that had popped up in her yard so of course I had to go check it out. Grace loved to forage for mushrooms. She was very knowledgeable. It has been an exceptionally dry summer so I haven’t been seeing mushrooms. Over the few years that we walked together we saw many varieties. One of the photos I sent Grace was of a Chicken of the Woods mushroom. There was a story behind it, a bit of an inside joke.
The mushroom my cousin brought to my attention was unlike anything I have seen before. They look like little umbrellas. I can’t help but wonder if Grace had something to do with these new mushrooms on the anniversary of her transition. I’d like to think it was her thanking me for thinking about her. That would be just like Grace.
One of the takeaways from my reflecting, today, is a greater trust in the inspirational guidance that comes when I lean on my higher self, the Voice for Love in my head, rather than on my own devices. I wanted to be a support for Grace and all involved during her transition. Looking back I can see how both my strengths and weaknesses were used as instruments to this end. Wow, I am humbled. I am glad I didn’t spend too much time being hard on myself. My higher self’s plan ended up being so much better. All I had to do was ask and follow the guiding light, ask and follow the guiding light, and ask and follow the guiding light.
"It's like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way." ~E.L. Doctorow
I believe that when someone passes they leave us with a gift. This deeper practice of intuition is big for me. I'm already seeing other places where I can implement it. A gift from Grace. Thank you.
I hope there is a gift from Grace for you as well.
My reflecting ended up being more than I anticipated, therefore, I decided to write my tribute in 2 parts so if you got this far, thank you for reading, and stay tuned for the heron visitations in Part 2.
Friends in this Love,
Trish
Oh Trish,
This was beautiful. May we all be blessed to have a friend like you. Loved your celebration of her life. Xo Jean
Aw... thank you Jean. I'm glad to know you were touched by Grace through my writing.
Thank you for taking the time to comment and thank you for being my friend.
xo
This really touched my heart! I SO missed being your partner in crime this Summer, but after reading this can feel your beautiful soul in my aching heart! (As you know this has been a tough few months for me)). I’m looking forward to part two. Love and miss you heaps! ??Suzy
You're so sweet. I hear you, Suzy. I missed you and our adventures too. Sending you love and hugs for this difficult time.
Thank you for commenting and for your friendship.
xo
Trish,
I loved this post! It's a beautiful reminder to plug in to our higher selves for inspirational guidance.???
Thank you, Kelly. I appreciate you taking time out of your day to share your takeaway from my writing. When I catch myself arguing with my intuition these days I chuckle and say to myself, "Like I know better." That's just ridiculously funny.
Enjoy the journey!
Trish
Good Morning Trish.
I’m not sure if you remember me but my daughter Kelly and I joined you and Georgia in St. John for a beautiful retreat a number of years ago.
I too lost my husband Ray a year ago anniversary will be 9/27).and a dear friend around the same time.
I’m always looking for messages and signs from him so this reading helped boost my faith.
Would love to connect with you.
Lucia
Hi Lucia,
I definitely remember you and your daughter. St. John was pristine.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's a huge adjustment on the one hand, but I have had some profound conversations with Doug on the other side of the veil. For those I am grateful.
Send me an email so we can coordinate.
Warmly,
Trish
So inspiring and beautiful
Thank you, Deana. I'm glad to hear it touched you too. Your gift from Grace.
Friends in this Love,
Trish
I loved reading this post as i do with all of them. I remember when this event happened during our bi-weekly meetings. It truly touch ed my heart and reminds me that i need to keep looking for signs from my loved ones in my travels.
Blessings to you
Marilyn
Hi Marilyn,
I'm glad to know that you were touched by my story and that you received a gift from Grace.
I recently was talking to Doug about how we were a good team and he reminded me that we still are. I do believe that our loved ones in spirit not only give us signs but can help us from the other side. We just need to ask.
Friends in this Love,
Trish
Beautiful, Trish - she was lucky to have you in her life ??. And always a great message to listen to our higher selves, our voice of love
Thank you, Laura.
Listening to our higher selves is always a valuable takeaway!
Thank you for taking the time to comment.
Friends in this Love,
Trish
Hi Trish,
Thanks for all these gems.
"I am glad I didn't spend too much time being hard on myself."
and then
"...ask and follow the guiding light..."
The sooner we ask, the quicker we can be guided, is what I received.
Part 1 was great, looking forward to Part 2.
Best,
Scott
Hi Scott,
Thank you for taking the time to share your gift from Grace.
I would look forward to hearing about how Part 2 may add dimension to your takeaway.
Friends in this Love,
Trish
Powerful story Dr. T! I can relate to it on many levels. How interesting her name is Grace - in that you gave yourself grace that day. I love that your voice memo still allowed you to be present. ??
Grace sounds like a blessing in your life as you were to her! Thanks for sharing your story!