I Am Equally And Uniquely Valuable

I Am Equally And Uniquely Valuable

One of my clients, we'll call her Sandra, was working on changing her "not good enough" belief to "I am equally and uniquely valuable." During the transition she had--what I thought was--the coolest experience and she gave me permission to share.

Sandra wanted to try out a new restaurant. She didn't need to. It was just a pure desire. She brought it up to her husband, Steve, but he shot it down so she let it go.

A few days later Steve mentions that his adult daughter (from a previous marriage) is interested in trying out the restaurant and that she has made reservations for the 4 of them. (daughter and husband and Sandra and Steve)

Take a minute to explore how this touches you.

  • Are you irritated at Steve?
  • Happy for Sandra?
  • Something different?

Sandra was a bit put out by Steve's announcement as her comment to him implied. "Well, I guess in the future if I want to do something that I should run it through your daughter."

Underneath Sandra's anger she felt hurt because Steve had denied her request and agreed to his daughter's. Sandra's not good enough button had been pushed.

I asked her if she had a good time at the restaurant. She said, "We had a blast!"

Take a minute to explore your feelings around this.

  • Do you come to Sandra's defense?
  • Steve's defense?
  • Something else?

Sandra had shared the not good enough version of this story but I saw a completely different story. If Sandra is equally and uniquely valuable how would the story go?

Sandra had a pure desire to try out a new restaurant. Her husband wasn't interested so she dropped it but the Universe didn't give up on her. It ingeniously brought the idea to Steve through his daughter. He agreed to go and they all went and had a great time.

Because I haven't talked with Steve, I don't know where he was coming from. It could have been that  hearing about the restaurant from a second source caused it to pique his interest. It could have been that he has trouble saying no to his daughter. Or it could have been that he had a full stomach when Sandra asked him. But one thing I know for certain is that Steve's "no" to Sandra said nothing about her value.

Sandra was in awe of the contrasting stories that described the same situation. The feelings that cascaded from each version were contrasting as well. The not good enough version made Sandra want to throw in the towel on life, while the equally and uniquely valuable version made her want to run toward it with arms open.

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." (Matthew 7:7) You can find all kinds of evidence to support either story. What would you choose?

  • If you came to Sandra's defense, a not good enough belief may be holding you back.
  • Try looking at a frustrating situation of your own from the I am equally and uniquely valuable perspective.

Friends in this Love,
Dr. Trish

Comments

  1. Halo Lin Dar says:

    A great illustration. Thanks!

    Reply

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